Funerals and memorials

God’s love and power extend over all creation. Every life, including our own, is precious to God. Christians have always believed that there is hope in death as in life, and that there is new life in Christ after death but even those who share such faith find that there is a real sense of loss at the death of a loved one. We will each have had our own experiences of their life and death, with different memories and different feelings of love, grief and respect. To acknowledge this with a funeral or memorial service helps us express our faith and our feelings as we say farewell, acknowledge our loss and our sorrow, and reflect on our own mortality. Those who mourn will find support and consolation and our presence at the funeral is part of that continuing support.

Part of the purpose of a church service is to give thanks to God for all the good in the life of the person we remember. We commend them to God before committing their body to the ground. Even if they were the most difficult person to get on with, and we may feel guilt at our own lack of forgiveness toward them, we should still find it in our hearts to give thanks for them as fellow creatures heading the same way. We share a common heritage in life and because of our faith in Jesus Christ believe we share a common inheritance with God our Father in heaven. As one poem that was read at a recent funeral here puts it:

Our family chain is broken,
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.

I always advise people to be honest at funerals – don’t have a sweet Mozart and The Lord’s my Shepherd service, whitewashing the deceased with boundless niceties when the person who died was a stubborn and rebellious so and so, and/or the life and soul of the party every week needing to be carried home, the motorbike picked up next day. Give them the music they would have wanted, speak the words that celebrate their life, not the life you hope the vicar believes they lived. Who are you fooling? It won’t feel right. God created joy and gladness, pleasure and delight, love, peace and fellowship. However we misuse our lives or forget to consciously remember him in our hearts, he rejoices that you come to church at least to give thanks for what is now ended. Remember him and he will remember you and you will find peace when you come to the church.

If you read this now because you are arranging a funeral, then come to the church and find a welcome. If you read this because it was here, and ‘in case you need to know’, then think – what would you like them to say about you? Go for it, you can do it.